August 2006

Tonight I spoke at a Paintball Camp Out some of the guys in our church were throwing. There were all kinds of guys there from the churched to the pagan, so I wanted to make sure my talk was more “guy” focused.

So, I chose to reference the story of Gideon paralleled with Private Upham from Saving Private Ryan. The one scene everyone remembers from that film? Yeah, when Upham, the translator, freezes on the stairs while his friend gets stabbed to death by a German. And then the German doesn’t even see him as having enough value to even kill, ugh!

Gideon was paralyzed just like Upham, he was so afraid of the Midianites that he was threshing wheat in a wine press. But when the Angel of the Lord approached him, he called him a “Might Warrior.” That would be like Tom Hanks’ character calling Upham a “fine instrument of warfare.”

Anyways, I went through the story of Gideon and talked about how as soon as Gideon started trusting in God and in God’s vision for his life, he then had what it takes. “Having what it takes”, I believe is one of the most profound and driving questions that men are always seeking to answer. Do we have what it takes to be a man, husband, father or successful? The fear of the answer to this question can paralyze us from taking risk, and from living free to be the man that God has called us to be.

I finished with letting the guys know that God doesn’t want nice men sitting in pews and always making the safe decisions to lead his church. God doesn’t want Upham’s leading the way. He wants men who are willing to risk and trust in God for big and challenging things in their life, even it if costs them everything. He wants men who step out in faith like Gideon, where it is blatantly obvious that God is in control, because there is no other way it would work.

The talk seemed to resonate with the guys there, and using the word pictures of the movie definitely helped keep them focused. Anyways, I think it went well and just wanted to share.

Oh snap! Jason Pogue tagged me for this book club thing which I first saw on Marko’s blog and now it has reached me… nice!

1. One book that changed your life: The Sacred Romance Drawing Closer to the Heart of God by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: Purpose Driven Youth Ministry by… ah you already know.

3. One book you’d want on a desert island: SAS Survival Handbook: How to Survive in the Wild, in Any Climate, on Land or at Sea by John ‘Lofty’ Wiseman (yeah, I looked it up…)

4. One book that made you laugh: My High School Year Book - ugly all over the place…

5. One book that made you cry: Honestly, that has never happened.

6. One book you wish had been written: Learning to Fail Well as a Young Leader in Ministry

7. One book you wish had never been written: The Chicken Soup for the (any person in any place doing anything weirdly specific)’s Soul. The first one was okay, but now it is getting ridiculous. Case and point, Click Here.

8. One book you’re currently reading: Death by Meeting by Patrick Lencioni. This guy is a leadership genius, both of his books I have read front to back and have taken away loads of practical stuff!

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. I have read the first several pages many times, but it isn’t a normal book. There is almost to much good stuff to really “read” it. I would have to use it as a devotional.

10. One book you’d like to write: Dodging Spears, Lessons for the Young Leader in Ministry (the title is mine, leave it alone!)

I now tag Josh Elek, Scott Rust, and my beautiful wife Mandy Steward.

Well, I am through weekend 2 where people know that we are leaving. Sunday was really busy because we had a youth choir called Pathway perform for us in the evening. We had a cookout for the meal before, and then they performed from 6pm to 7pm. It went really well, it was just a lot of work getting everything setup and tore down, and getting everybody where they needed to be.

It was kinda frustrating to be so busy when I would have rather just taken the opportunity to be with some of the good friends we have here. But Mandy and I continue to be very excited about this big move.

I used the opportunity during the high school sunday program to teach and discuss peace. I hadn’t had a good opportunity to have ALL the students together and to talk about the fact that I was leaving so there were definitely some awkward silences. But I think it was a great teaching on how God moves in our lives, and how he wants us to be willing for him to move in our lives in big way. We dissected what peace was, and what it wasn’t; and how often when we don’t have peace it is God trying to get our attention that we are in the wrong place or just need to refocus on him.

Anyways, we are in the middle of “packing week”. Even though our actual move is atleast 3 weeks away we are starting to put things into three piles: Good Will, Going With, and trash. Mandy’s favorite piles are the trash and GoodWill piles cause we are trying to move with as little as possible. Speaking of which, I should really get back to packing before I get caught blogging… ha!~

“Timothy, you are like a son to me in the things of the Lord. May God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord show you his kindness and mercy and give you great peace of heart and mind” - 1st Timothy 1:2 (TLB)

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 (NIV)

I have really been impacted lately at the power of peace in my body, heart and soul. I think I spend so much time pushing through life for happiness and success that I drive myself crazy with the chaos. That I live so much by my own power, that I lose site of what God is trying to do and could do in my life. And when we try to do things on our own power, at some point stress and chaos take over. Even if I am successful, it lacks something if I have done it in my own power.

Peace. The fresh breath of contentment. The wave of encouragement in the midst of risk. The clear conviction in a difficult decision. The ability to feel calm in the middle of persecution and defamation. As I try to align myself with God and his purpose for my life, I desire peace more and more. Not necessarily comfort, or an easy life, or perfect relationships, or a lack of conflict; I desire peace more. Because all those other things are going to happen if you are passionately following Jesus and making him the absolute first in your life. But peace from God is the solid rock to stand on despite those things.

I want the peace to follow God’s direction in my life, even if it makes no sense at all to those around me. The peace to trust God with the details of messy situations. The peace to let things go that have hurt me to seek God’s purpose in the relationship. The peace to take risks despite the timing. The peace to love people like Jesus did, even if I know they will never understand or reciprocate it. The peace to forgive. The peace to see myself as God sees me no matter what failures or successes I have.

For this time in my life, I have a strong sense of God’s peace. Not like I am glowing or anything, but I can just sense his calm and his confidence. And for all the times in the past few months that I haven’t felt the peace of God, I realize that he was moving in my heart to draw me close to him and point me towards his will for my life. That he gets our attention by letting us try to do things on our own, and when peace leaves and chaos comes we start looking for him again.

I have been praying the verses at the top of this article for my life and the lives of people I know all day. And it has been good for my heart and refreshing for my spirit to be still and know God is in control. Seek Peace.

Well, we had our first set of weekend services where everyone in our church knew we where leaving. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but people where so gracious and caring. The general response was that people were excited for us, but that they were really going to miss us. And what blew me away is how many people were crying, cause I just didn’t realize how much people cared for us here. There were a couple people I could tell were miffed by the whole thing, but they were definitely few and far in between.

Overall all it was a bittersweet time, all the great conversations with all of the good friends we have made here - while all of us being in the midst of this “separation”. The process remains smooth, and I am eager to make time to hang with people before we leave.

Of course we are still tracking on solidifying a place to live and what I exactly will be doing out in Cali. It seems that there are a couple of exciting options on the table, and I am expectant to see what is in store for us as we continue to push forward. What an adventure.. ha!

For those of you who have never heard of the book, Getting Things Done, by David Allen this will all be new for you. But he has an approach to making to-do lists that is different but that I find to be highly effective. Instead of having daily to-do lists, and always having to move undone items to the next day, he organizes his lists by context.

So, a context list is like a shopping list. You keep track of all the things you need to get when you go shopping. That way when you are shopping you have a list of everything you can get done in that context. Taking it to the next level is to identify what the contexts are that you find yourself in everyday where you are needing to get things done. Your contexts could be anything from “Computer” to “Home Office”.

A much better explanation of this, and how to simplify your context lists is over here at a sweet productivity site called 43 Folders. This has helped me a lot in wading through what to do and setting myself up in the best environment to get things done!

Well, the news of my resignation is spreading like wildfire through my church. Faster than I thought and I haven’t had the time to get to students one on one and let them know before they have found out. I have been getting drilled with texts all morning. To the point where I have a prefab message I am sending them to meet me at Panera to talk about it at lunch.

Keep them in your prayers. They have had to experience this before, once because of immaturity and and another time because of immoral behavior. I am sure they are sorting through those feelings of loss again.

Pray that I have the right words for them, not to make everything fine, but that they will know that I care for them and our relationship over and above me working at the church.

Nobody likes to fail. But the fear of failure influences all of us. And even the fear of success, is just the fear that you will fail once you have great expectation placed upon you. I have recently had to review my successes and my failures from my current, but not for long, ministry position. And it is really hard to be honest about those kind of things. It gets really easy to start believing that your failures, make you a failure - and I don’t believe that to be the case. But regardless, the feeling of failure isn’t something any of us desire.

But as I have had a chance to wade through all the feelings, and look back at my experiences, I have found that the failures in my life have been the most powerful and important teaching times in my life. That without the failures I have encountered I wouldn’t know myself as well, I wouldn’t know what I do about leadership, or perseverance or faith in God. Without the failures I would be weak, undeveloped, and would have a faith that is easily swayed. Without the failures I would not have nearly as clear of an understanding at my great need to be totally dependent on God and his Word.

I think I am of the opinion now that instead of avoiding failure and making safe choices that keep things manageable. That I should push forward with drive and passion, and embrace the inevitable failures that lie before me. That I should seek to push my own limits constantly. And when (not if) I fail, that I need to take notice and learn in that moment to better myself. And if I succeed, then it is time to celebrate and continue to push on.

As much as people like to describe their lives, jobs and ministries by their successes, I think it is much more telling of who they are to hear what their failures have been. Because then you know what they have learned, and who they are really becoming.

Ultimately, I think that we have lost an appreciation for the benefit of failure, and how the thing that we most fear is one of the only things that can every make us a true success. And I think that God is much more concerned with how we process our failures, then of how successful we are.

Well, things are definitely in motion now!

Today I tendered my resignation that I will leave my position of Student Minister on August 31st. What an incredible weight to have lifted of my shoulders! And my Senior Minister didn’t act surprised, he was positive through the conversation, which is one of his strengths. He will discuss it tonight with the core team of elders and things will progress from there. I understand some people will be upset, but we can never control people reactions.

The peace and excitement about where God is taking us continues to build, and I am looking forward to the next few weeks and the adventure that God has placed before us.